Holes In Her Heart. . .

We all have been disappointed and let down by one/ones we love. We take the chance of being let down by every person we let into our lives. While they may not do it on purpose it creates a wall each time they "forget" a dinner date, or "something comes up" at the last minute. You begin to question if they are even telling you the truth. Or do they simply not want to see you. . .

Whether it's friends, family, your spouse. . you should try not to make plans and promises you can't keep.(I realize emergencies happen.)

I am a true forgiver. I do not give up people I love. I will always make plans, even with people who generally bail. I'll get my hopes up to go out with someone and do something fun, only to be hurt when they have to work or decide they don't want to go. I will expect someone to be here when they tell me they will even when they are habitually late. . Because it's who I am. . I have always been this way.

Some have told me that this makes me a doormat, and I suppose it probably does to a degree. But in my eyes it makes me loyal. If everyone in my life walked out on me when I was going through something hard or needed my space I would have no one left in my life.

But I suppose everyone has their end all point. I wonder if and when I'll reach that. When will I get tired of being let down? When will I stop making the effort to make everyone around me not feel alone even if I am alone? I suppose only time can tell me that. . .